The Shy One.

Plain and simple. Shy girls are the best. They have tight bodies, and are horny as rabbits. Have you ever seen a rabbit going at it? That's what's up. At least if you can actually have intercourse with them, unlike my case...

Let me tell you something about shy girls. They feel awkward and are quiet the first time you meet them. Chances are, if she is actually shy, you will hardly meet her in an alcoholic environment, which is perfectly fine. As a minor hint, it does not matter how shy and "difficult" the girl is. Girls love leaders, make a confident and strong first impression and make sure your knowledge is very broad so you always have something to say back to the few things she will talk about. If you haven't been around much in life, make sure your bullsh*tting skills are amazing. Trust me, the female intuition sorts guys into different categories right at first sight. You could be good friend material, the guy she never wants to see again, or the playboy she fears and assumes she's so innocent you will never be able to touch her. At least that is what she will be thinking. Yeah, right.

It should be fairly obvious which category you want to be in. Tweak yourself accordingly and give the impression you want her to receive.

Once you make her feel comfortable and less awkward, it is time for the hunt. These girls are tough and you need to act quick. After the first meet ask her to come over to your place the same week. Do not allow them to move on in life and keep their curiousity as fresh as you can. Nine out of ten shy girls will definitely come over to hang out for the second time even though they know it is “wrong” according to their stupid morals and beliefs. They love the danger way too much. Shy girls don’t have much going on in life, and a male approaching her may be the highlight of their life.

I managed to meet one of these girls on a Tuesday. We went out for lunch; I worked my magic, and invited her over for dinner and a bottle of wine on a Thursday to start my weekend early. Without hesitation she agreed, and I knew that I would get this job done after offering a few smooth drinks without much alcoholic taste. She came over, shy and quiet as the first time we met, but I managed to loosen her up fairly quick as her alcohol tolerance was that of a four year old. We finished dinner, hung out, talked, and got more sloshed.

At the time when I was about to make my move, I discover one of the most dreadful and by far the worst addition to the female physique. The hymen. Also known as the vaginal skin of virginity. At this point I’m thinking to myself, what the !@#$. This !@#$ is a god damn virgin.

Doing a virgin is not only going to ruin her life, but yours as well. It will be the most annoying experience ever. She will cling onto you like gum in hair. Do not, I repeat, do not ever do a virgin if you don’t intend on dating her.

Anyways, after realizing what was going on, I had to settle for a night of cuddling. This wasn’t bad at all actually, as I acknowledged that even shy virgins are very horny and will do basically anything but intercourse. What really surprised me and got me stuck on her was her amazingly tight body. As for now, I actually intend on meeting more of these type of girls, just the ones who are not virgins though. By the way, never do a virgin please.

So much for a slow start to the last weekend, luckily it did not end there.

Tonic