The Friend Zone.

What is the so-called "Friend Zone"? A !@#$% piece of !@#$%. That's right. It is very hard to talk about this phenomenon without swearing and being fairly angry. What inspired me to write about this is obviously an experience that happened to me not long ago. As a matter of fact, this happened to me multiple times other than the most recent occurring event. Encountering this devil will waste your time, money, nerves, and at the end of the day there is still no girl in your bed, but rather a stupid new friend you may go shopping with.

This "zone" is by far the pinnacle and king of all cockblockings you can possibly experience. And here is how it works. As mentioned in my introductory post, girls will always think of you as a horndog who just wants to get into her pants with no intention on planning something serious. Boom. This is when dumb guys (including myself) think about the "nice approach" towards this woman you just can't stop thinking about. "I will be a real gentleman and take some time to win her heart over so i can finally see what I've only been visualizing in my head this whole time." (something dirty obviously)

You probably will buy her flowers, take her out for dinner, even prepare dinner for her, or simply suggest anything that a regular couple in this generation would do. But mainly, you focus on keeping the conversations interesting each time by learning more about her as well as letting her learn about you. After you've wasted a million dollars and eighty-nine weeks of your time, finally, bingo, you won her trust over. That's not the only good part though. The best part is that you will receive a prize out of pity after realizing that you now officially entered the infamous "Friend Zone". The prize illustrates itself in a feeling: the feeling of being !@#$ straight up your bum.


At the beginning you would think that there shouldn't be a problem with this approach at all, right? Especially when girls think guys are all the same, and you want to show them that you are different and better than the rest. Yeah well, too bad sucker. First of all, you are indeed the pervert that just wants to get her into your bed and not some gentleman, and second, girls will always fall for bad boys, and not any other type. It's true, there's something mysterious about females and their desire for bad boys. Probably because it's different, refreshing, risky, and exciting compared to a potential husband who is stable but boring. Who would choose chess over skydiving, right? (only losers)

But even after being crushed, you need to face your losses and let the feeling of being !@#$ straight up your bum teach you a lesson. You've lost money, time and you probably wanted to dropkick something when you realized that she just treats you as a friend now after you thought you were doing fairly well. Too bad, !@#$ happens.


Never ever change the way you are for a girl. Nice guys finish last. If you happen to be a natural nice guy, add some cockyness and attitude and neglect girls as you will realize that is what they are really into.


We shall all hate psychology and its invention of "Friend Zone", the harshest and most painful cockblocking experience you will or have already experienced.


Tonic