The Cocky.

Cocky girls. Yeah, they're alright, at times. Only if they have the appearance to balance it out though. If they don't, they often need a dropkick to the face. The attitude they have going on is legendary. They are so full of themselves, it makes you want to be an even bigger asshole when kicking them out the next morning.


I had one of these tough nuts over yesterday for a good time. It wasn't. It would've been a good time, if her commentary wasn't so garbage and full of crap.


As usual, I decided to start my weekend early. I met this 5"1 girl this past Wednesday and was already very skeptical if I should invite her over after seeing her talk. She looks pretty decent and average, until she opens her god damn mouth. And by that, I don't only mean her cocky talking, I mean her teeth. An accurate description of her dental features may be illustrated by four, side-by-side, but unparallel tiger teeth. 


This is when you start questioning your standards and limits. At least you should be. A cranky girl who is as attractive as my hairy buttcrack? Never...is what I should have said, haha. But being the asshole that I am, I couldn't care less about the quality of a one-nighter. Besides, after drinking at my friend's house and getting sloshed, I could not miss out on a fresh booty call on a nice Thursday evening. Consequently, she came over after I called her for a few late drinks.


She was waiting at the door when I arrived back home. Even after several drinks, she was still very ugly and my excitement for this booty call sort of died. All I could think about was paperbagging this girl's face. The bad part was, her body was not tight either. I would've had to garbage bag this whole girl.


The night went pretty smooth still and I eventually accepted her physique. However, some issues did arise in the morning though. I'm sure you guys all know how crap girls look in the morning, but when you look like crap to begin with, seeing her in the morning under sunlight might just make your hangover a lot worse. After puking in my mouth a little, I realized the resemblance this lady had with smeagol. If you don't know who smeagol is, google image that creature. To make it short and simple, this girl was physically and mentally unappetizing. Seeing her squirt all the shit talk through the gap of her front teeth called for a dropkick out of my apartment, which I did. Girls, you just can't bitch around if you're not hot.


Let this be a lesson to me. And what a huge one it was. After this dreadful experience, I think I can consider myself having some standards in a girl now. Having a pork chop in your bed in the morning while being semi hungover is just too much to handle.


Tonic