Ah yes, the booty request. What a great invention, at least for people who are lazy to go on the hunt at night. Sadly, it is actually quite hard to establish proper and stable booty calls. Sooner or later, one side will get emotionally attached and the whole casual aspect will vanish.
Before I explain any further, I would like to wish everyone a very very late and merry christmas, and also a very late happy new year. Unfortunately, these few months have been very busy, in fact, so busy that I totally neglected this blog. Luckily, I have made quite a few entertaining and messed up experiences during these months I will write about these coming days.
Celebrating new years and christmas abroad was quite intoxicating, as you could probably imagine yourself. Shots, wine, champagne and lots of beer. I would love to share, but sadly, I don't remember a whole lot.
Anyways, arriving back to my home from my trip, I realized that all the numbers I have been collecting since late Novomber were useless. Why? There are two main reasons. Either the girl has hit her expiry date, or she has fallen in "love" with you.
For the first part, it's literally like buying a tub of yoghurt. You either finish it after eating a few times, or you just let it rot until it's no good anymore. This theory applies to almost every girl you do not intend to date. After several encounters, the drop in excitement usually does not call for another meet (used up your sexual quota). Or, you simply just haven't bothered with this girl because you're busy with many others currently which leads to expiration. Both parties have been out of contact for so long, it doesn't even make sense to contact each other anymore. If this occurs, you may still consider yourself lucky and should be happy.
The !@#$ piles up in the latter case, which is way worse and happens way too often. You meet with your "booty" half a dozen times and while you're pounding her, she kills the buzz better than Buzz Killington himself by saying, "(insert your name here), I don't think I can do this with you anymore, I have feelings for you!"
Listen !@#$, sit the !@#$ down and calm yourself please. This ain't no kindergarden "do you like me? cross yes, no, maybe" bull!@#$. You don't fall for someone after having sex a few times. Feelings and emotions do not arise from one night stands. Also, if you tend to argue with "love on first sight", get !@#$ real, it will never apply to a one night stand for a few simple reasons. First, the guy who you appearantly have feelings for is the same guy who was trying to get you so drunk so he could slice you with his salami and pay you 20 bucks in the morning to cab straight out of his life. This man clearly, CLEARLY, does not intend to be a part of your future. Second, you are called for sex, not for a dinner date, not for a movie date, not for a cuddle date, you are called for sex, and sex only. So stop thinking so much and just bounce your hips and moan from time to time.
When the above mentioned situation occurs, and believe me, it will occur very often, the exchange of sexual favours ends instantly with this girl. Or at least, you should be smart enough to end it right at that moment yourself.It may sadden you, and it will sadden her for sure, but life goes on and you got to play the game the way it's meant to be played.
You wouldn't want some crazy !@#$ waiting outside your window every night trying to marry you because she claims to be in love with you, right? It's important to move on to new "booties" and play the game right, as one wise fellow once summarized his life with; it's all about money, cars, drugs, bitches and guns.
Tonic
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